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02-Oct-2017 04:15

Anyone who has spent time on Grindr or Gaydar will know that it is common to receive sexually aggressive messages accompanied by photographs of the sender in provocative poses, often naked.

Sometimes, the only photographic evidence of themselves they wish to send are close-up shots of their penises.

If any of these men had been abusive or put pressure on me to do things I wasn’t comfortable doing, I could well have found myself going along with them.

A decade ago, I just didn’t have the emotional confidence to refuse.

Unfortunately, many of these young men do just that, and acquire for themselves a sex education which dictates that submission, relinquishment of power and subserviently allowing yourself to be used sexually are the modes by which you can most expediently access affection, however fleeting and ephemeral it may be.

Gay dating sites have revolutionised the way we connect with each other and have provided opportunities for interaction that were impossible before.

When I was younger, more inhibited and less trusting of others, I used to hang around on Gaydar for hours, chatting with men I wasn’t even brave enough to meet.

 Beforehand, I researched the charity and read the testimony of a young man who had met someone he had been chatting to on an internet dating site.My love affair with Grindr has always been more of a regrettable fling which invariably ends with me deleting the app from my phone within a couple of days. If previously, my feelings towards the platform were ambivalent, they have now been crystallised: I actively dislike it.Grindr has acquired a somewhat iconic status in the gay community and understandably so.For most young gay men, sex education is something that is acquired through exposure to sex itself, via porn, and later with partners who are often more experienced than they are.In many cases, these will be positive experiences, but not always.

 Beforehand, I researched the charity and read the testimony of a young man who had met someone he had been chatting to on an internet dating site.My love affair with Grindr has always been more of a regrettable fling which invariably ends with me deleting the app from my phone within a couple of days. If previously, my feelings towards the platform were ambivalent, they have now been crystallised: I actively dislike it.Grindr has acquired a somewhat iconic status in the gay community and understandably so.For most young gay men, sex education is something that is acquired through exposure to sex itself, via porn, and later with partners who are often more experienced than they are.In many cases, these will be positive experiences, but not always.They have an important place in gay culture and will continue to positively affect the lives of millions of gay men around the world.